I was meant to have it all figured out…
The first guest post for It’s The Mother comes from one of our closest friends Bexx (@motherstigma). Bexx is mother to the beautiful Indie and loves her job in a vets practice. She is very passionate about breaking the stigma of mental health and although she is still battling through her own issues she wants to help others too. This is a little of what she has to say but please check out her page too to let her know what you think.
Life you funny little bugger. I was meant to have you all figured out by now.
I’m Bexx, I’m 27 (closer to 28), I live in Ayrshire, Scotland where I moved to over 2 years ago from Falkirk where I spent all of my life to be with my partner of nearly three years, Andrew. I became a youngish mum at the age of 21 to my daughter Indie when instagram and its communities didn’t exist. Being a mum wasn’t seen as ‘cool’ and no one shared their experiences of parenthood online. I have only recently felt able to embrace my parenthood, my close friends all have children now & they have opened my eyes to the fun of sharing my adventures through #motherhoodofinstagram. Being a mum is very cool indeed online, especially all those perfect little squares filled with a colour scheme & very clean backgrounds. I applaud all of you who make this type of page, they are beautiful.
I do feel however that the subject I am passionate about isn’t quite as glamorous or as beautiful. I love to share my images of Indie and our life but I am also trying to “break the mound”. I want to discuss mental health, my mental health and recently I renamed my page “motherstigma”. I have lived with stigma for years, at times I have joined in with the denial. I even remember at a time saying I didn’t believe in depression/anxiety. I was diagnosed with Body Dysmorphia in the summer of 2015 which I went through counselling for. This is an illness based around a warped image of yourself, I felt an enormous pressure to look perfect and obsessed about my flaws. It stopped me leaving the safety of my flat for even the simplest of tasks out of fear that people would see me looking less than perfect. At times I felt completely ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to lay eyes one me. Motherstigma is a place for me to be open and try to beat my own fear of being branded a stigma but its also a place I hope someone will stumble across and breathe a sign of relief that they can relate. They are not alone. You are not alone. We have such a beautiful community of fashion, lifestyle and mother pages/people it’s time to add another community. Don’t get me wrong it’s still utterly terrifying to put raw things out for anyone friend or foe to read. Especially foes… come on we are all trying to be seen as a put together person, that we have life all figured out and everything is going smoothly. Ask yourself this… who cares? Who really cares that much when we are all so busy thinking, overthinking what we project. At least this is what I’m trying to tell myself. I’m sure one day I will practice what I am preaching.
Here’s to a journey, an honest journey, a scary journey, a liberating journey, an emotional journey, a journey I am in no way unhappy with, a journey of learning about myself. My journey through life, parenthood, anxiety, highs, lows, promises to myself, broken promises to myself, love, adventures & health.
What’s your journey? Join me @motherstigma a safe place I want to create to share, to talk, to meet & to relate.