With the arrival of baby number 2 getting ever closer it’s got me thinking more about those first few weeks. Looking back at that time with Abel it went past SO quick, we had absolutely no idea what we were doing and had no routine whatsoever. Being in that new baby bubble was the most amazing feeling ever regardless of how tired we were.
Of course this time I believe will be equally as great but it certainly won’t be the same. The biggest thing will be having a toddler to keep going as well. Naps certainly won’t be as easy and we need to keep some form of routine going. We also have an idea of what to expect this time, how tired we will be and how pissed off you can (will…) get at each other. Hopefully we will be a bit more organised too… hopefully lol.
I wanted to write about a few things we are hoping to do differently this time that we wish we had perhaps first time around to make life a little easier and less stressful.
So the first thing is visitors. Touchy subject for some I guess but one of the first things I really wanted to do differently this time. Now I am not saying we won’t have any at all, of course close friends and family can come round whenever they want, we feel comfortable with them and don’t mind telling them we are going for a kip or to help us tidy. I mean the visitors we never see, that are asking before the baby is even here when they can come round even though you only see them once in a blue moon (like last time we had a baby). So much of those first weeks with Abel were spent sitting on the same spot of my couch, waiting for people to come, scheduled one after the other, some staying for hours and of course Abel would sleep the whole bloody time and all I could think about is how tired I was or how many dishes were lying in the kitchen. Not to mention feeling like absolute death having just given birth and no sleep in days so small talk just gets a no. So yeah as much as I might sound like a bitch people can wait a couple of months this time or meet me for cake – that I can do.
Working out when to sleep. As I mentioned, the fact we already have a child means we can’t just sleep whenever, Abel does NOT nap unless it’s in the car or he is absolutely exhausted (danger nap basically). So our plan (kind of) is to work out how much sleep the both of us need minimum to function – we got the idea from one of the books we have. We both say roughly about 6 hours to be not too much of a zombie. We both have the day to get that amount and just need to accept that it won’t all be at once. So for those 2 weeks of paternity of course we can take turns napping. After that Mr will get all of his in the night and I will need to spread mine across the night and when Abel is at nursery. It’s a plan so we shall see how we go lol, fingers crossed not too bad.
Not feeling pressured. I think first time around most of us feel the pressure to either do things by the one of many 10395828569 books or to please others. Like having visitors round for example, pretty sure most of us do that to please everyone else. So this time we hope to just take things a little slower and hope our experience helps. Feeding was one HUGE thing I felt pressure with last time, I didn’t have any issues feeding as such but mentally I put so much pressure on myself and totally broke down 4 weeks in. I was so paranoid and felt like I was being judged by EVERYONE. Getting out the house is another, I will try my best but am not going to put myself down for not leaving the house everyday. Asking for help too, I put a lot of pressure on myself to keep the house tidy, look presentable and have it all sorted out where deep down I was struggling and too proud to admit it! This time I hope I can give myself a break, accept the help and take it easier.
Making time for each other. We did pretty good at this last time but we know it’ll be 10x harder this time around. No idea how we will do it but I’m sure we will work it out.
As mentioned above briefly – accepting help. Whether it’s someone offering to come round to help with whatever or someone offering to make us some food we won’t be as shy this time about taking up the offer. I honestly think I was mad last time, I still felt the need to have the place perfect and not show any sign that I needed help – why?! I guess most of us do it, we want to prove we can do it all, when usually we can’t, not without something suffering – usually us.
So whether you too are expecting an arrival or can maybe relate/add to the little list I have, I hope you enjoyed my rambles and take something away from it, I will of course let you all know how we get on when the time comes!